012411 Cold Again 64

I'm home now! It has been VERY busy. I have been VERY busy and VERY distracted. I have not written as much as I would like, but I have written every day. I have told a few people I am writing. I told a friend that I named a character after her. That she wasn't the character but they had they same attitude and beauty. That they reminded me of each other.

There are a few reasons things have slowed down.

First and foremost, though I am embarrassed to say, I have been spending way too much time on the internet. Over the past months, especially since becoming so serious about my novel, I have spent much less time on the internet. I have wasted a lot of time on the internet in my life. I don't even like to think about it. I have also invested a lot of productive time on the internet. But lately I have just been loading and reloading facebook... Why would I do this? Well, my first day back at work I get pulled into the front office. Long story short, I receive an iPad. This is what they do for us instead of a bonus. Instead of a raise for taking on a huge project, and especially for me, who covered all of the Spanish accounts in the company as I was the only person who spoke any Spanish. I realize they saved a lot of money by doing this and though it is unfair, I would never buy myself an iPad, EVER. I don't buy myself gifts. I don't have a smart phone, I don't even have text messaging on my 4 year old flip phone. I rarely buy myself clothes. I hate malls (but I love fashion). I like window shopping and long wish lists on amazon and what have you. But I don't spend money that way. I travel and I invest in my passions and my husbands passions and our business. Our education. I invest in good cuts of meat. Good wines. Nights out. I try to enjoy life while allowing only a sliver of my overall happiness to belong to material objects. But...

OMIGODICAN'TBELIEVEHOWAMAZINGTHISTHINGIS

ANDEVENTHOUGHIDON'TKNOWHOWTOUSEITIAM

ALREADYSOADDICTEDIHAVEBEENREADINGIMDB

MESSAGEBOARDSANDSPENDINGALLOFMYFREETIMEON

FACEBOOKJUSTTOUSETHEGODDAMNEDTHINGGAHYOU

HAVENOIDEAWOWOMIGOODNESSGRACIOUSGOLLYGEE

WILIKERS.

Yes, my feelings about the thing are that intense. This is the first time I have been introduced to this whole touch screen thing. Apps. All that. I swear. I am a complete novice. I am a poor and simple girl. I prefer to hand write. Or not speak with you at all. Okay, that is an exaggeration. Anyway, point being, I feel like I have jumped forward in time or maybe it is that I have been far behind times. I'm thinking it's the latter. It's most certainly the latter.

But, I am giving that up now. Tonight. Only fifteen minutes a day on Facebook from here on out.

But, the iPad is not the only thing that has kept me busy. Of course working. We are still working on the same project from the summer. The VISA project is what we call it, you can speculate as to why. And though it has downsized, the DOB project has been jacked on.

I also got hired at a new club. I work in clubs as a dancer. A gogo dancer but a good one. I am a real dancer. Before this I have worked for a few years as a belly dancer and have a job lined upon our move back down south. I started gogo dancing because when I drop this god damn weight I can probably get a job down there doing this as well. It would be awesome to only be working as a dancer. All that time to write. Sleeping in late, beach during the day! The life! What a life!!!! I am such a dreamer. I have worked every weekend doing that. Waking up early the next day, going to work, taking a nap in the afternoon. I am running on four hours of sleep a night. Codeine cough medicine. I am high 24/7.

Also, one day this week I did a photo shoot with another gogo. This was the first time I had met her. She had an amazing body. Beautiful face! I told her she should keep modeling and I meant it. She was nice. A little shy but she opened up at the end. I tried my best to make it as comfortable for her as possible and I think we got some good shots. However, I planned to have this shoot in the day light but the sun sets early this time of year, she was running late (I told her not to worry) but it was dark when we started. I don't have any equipment to facilitate this process, like an external flash, for instance. But in the end I am happy with a couple and that is fine. At least I am investing my time in creativity instead of the internet.

Anywho, those are all of the reasons I HAVEN'T been writing as much as I have wanted to. Also, I have been doing a lot of editing lately. Really enriching the story, trying to add a bit of truth and a lot of beauty to my prose. Actually, much of it has gone very well. I am very happy with the story and my writing. My satisfaction surprises me.

I opened up the first first draft yesterday after a few days sticking only to the legal pads but the inspiration I felt was not as powerful as my exhaustion. I passed out soon after I turned on my lap top!

I will begin writing................. NOW!